14 months

Luke's becoming a little boy. Where did my baby go?

He loves to play with these coasters.

And be silly...

• He's standing on his own all of the time and can take four to five steps on his own! I know he can walk on his own, but I think that he's still a little timid to just take off. I really hope he's walking by 15 months, though. 
• He waves at every single dog he either hears or see, even if it's on TV. This kid loves dogs. Every time we leave the house, he says, "bye bye" to KC. So cute.
• He's still just the sweetest boy. He shares his things (most of the time), and he will smile at anyone. He makes friends every single place we go. This kid knows how to work a room, and it's hilarious.
• He is definitely getting more and more of an appetite. Just in the past couple of weeks, his eating has taken off. He eats more variety and pretty much will at least try whatever we put in front of him. I really feel like we're getting past his weight issues.
• He still drinks one pediasure a day which he loves. I'm not sure how much longer we'll give them to him, but he'll be sad to give that one up. He does love his whole milk, though. I still have no issue getting that down him :)
• He's still wearing 12 month clothes and size 3 disposable diapers. I have noticed that his shirts are getting a little small, they creep up on him constantly, so I may try some 18 month things soon. The only problem is that he's still pretty short for his age, so pants are definitely still long on him and they continue to fit ok in the waist.
• Luke's still babbling up a storm. He says byebye, hi, mama, dada, this on a regular basis.
• He can also sign 'more' and 'all done'. I'm working on teaching him thirsty and hungry. I love that he can tell me what he can. It makes me eager for him to talk more so that he can really communicate his needs/ wants. Right now, when he doesn't know how else to tell me, he just points and grunts at what he wants. That can be pretty frustrating because sometimes he could be pointing at one of many things!
• He's very curious. Luke is constantly inspecting things and looking at things. He also loves to organize things. Just today, I put a shirt in the dirty clothes hamper and didn't get it all the way in, so he went behind me and finished the job for me! Perfect- my own little person to pick up after me. He will also spend forever stacking thing and unstacking things. Lately, coasters have kept him busy for quite a while!
• Now he's asking to go outside all of the time. He'll go over and point at the door. He's never ready to go back inside. Me, Luke, and KC spend quite a bit of time lounging outside.
• He just started swim lessons. It's a mommy and me class, so I get in the water with him. It's really just about getting him used to the water, so it's nothing big, but he's really enjoying it so far. He was a little unhappy at first, but once the instructor got out the toys, he was sold! He even last about 15-20 minutes today after it rained and was cloudy during lessons, so the water was pretty chilly.
• Luke goes to bed right now between 6:30 and 7. He sleeps until about 6:15 most mornings. We are definitely down to 1 nap a day. He goes down sometime between 11 and 12 every day- it really just depends on what's been going on. He'll usually sleep about 1.5 hours, but I really like it if he'll sleep 2 to 2.5, not just so I can get more done, but I feel like he makes it through the day much better.
• Luke and I have been going to the gym on a regular basis. He loves the child care area, and they love him. He has so much fun crawling around, playing with the toys, and watching the big kids. Many times he gets some big kid to entertain him. It's been very nice for me to have that time, and for him to get to be very entertained for that time.
• Overall, he's just a very happy baby. He continues to be very laid back and a true people person. He loves getting out of the house and going to play dates. We're having a lot of fun being home together. I'm really happy that I get to be home with him. Some days it's hard because it's getting harder and harder to get things done with him at the house because he wants my attention all of the time, but I still love it.

New York, NY

My college roommates, Alicia and Jacki, decided to take a trip to New York to see Newsies which just opened on Broadway. I really didn't have any intention of going because that would mean Trey was left with Luke by himself. Although to my surprise, when I asked if I could go with them, he agreed I had earned a weekend away! I literally nursed Luke for the last time the day before I left. I decided New York was the perfect reason to let it go :) 

We had a wonderful time, and it was so nice to be gone with adults and no baby schedule to adhere to for two whole days. I would have had a a good time even if we'd done nothing, though, I was just glad to be able to sleep in a hotel room with no chance of a baby waking me up. 

We went to the 9/11 memorial park which was very neat. 

This is the "Survivor" tree. People are still leaving items at the bottom of its trunk.


We were taken by a hot dog stand guy. Good thing we have a great sense of humor.

We ate at a Belgian tavern.

Newsies was GREAT! I highly recommend the show. It was definitely worth it.

Shhhh... we took illegal pics in the theatre.

We ate at a very cool Victorian Bar called Lillie's. I had the best buffalo wings here.

 

We saw Million Dollar Quarter off-broadway which was really cool. I'm very glad we did the off-broadway thing.

We had after-show drinks and dessert.

We took a stroll through Bryant Park.

New York was warm that weekend, but we still had a great time walking around and just seeing the city. 

City Hall

Garden District

Air, Space, and Sea Museum on the Intrepid

I loved getting time to spend with the girls and be an adult without kids! It was a wonderful memorial day, and I have the BEST husband who took care of Luke all weekend so I could do that :)

Pants on his Head

The title of this post should be sung to the tune of, "Pants on the Ground". Remember that little ditty from a couple of years ago??

Luke is silly. He loves to crawl around with things on his head. So far it's been.... a bucket, a shirt, his sleep blanket, and his pants. We only got pictures of the pants. Usually, he likes the object to be covering his eyes so that he'll run into things and laugh about it. Weird, I know. Silly, yes.

The pants weren't covering his eyes, but he still found it hilarious.

Hmmm.. somehow we always manage to get his sans pants pictures when he's in his cosmic diapers. He does have others, I promise ;)

Luke is Non-Stop!

13 months

Luke just keeps growing up!

Now that's over a year, we have no more cute onesies :( I was going to do something cute, but then I got busy, so here's pictures that aren't fancy or cutesy. :)

This is that weird face he's started making :)

Just chillaxin'

Here's some of what he's been up to:

• I had to take him in for a weight check, so I know that he's 19 lbs, 13 oz., and I'm writing this a week late, so I'm hoping he's up to 20 lbs by now!
• Our little Luke has had a language explosion! He talks nonstop! He babbles constantly and with all new syllables that we hadn't heard before now. It's really entertaining to sit and listen to him.
• He was calling me 'maba' instead of 'mama', but just yesterday he mastered 'mama'. Now he says it constantly, usually when he needs something or wants me to pick him up, of course.
• When he wants something, he says something that sounds like please. I'm not sure he's really saying that, but it's pretty cute. He does say more without prompting now. He'll say byebye, hi, dada, mama. He doesn't really say kitty or doggy right now, but I know he knows them!
• We bought him a big boy car seat. It's still rear facing, but it sits up higher and is more like a chair. It definitely gives him more room than the last one. Although the other car seat is sitting in the kitchen, and he climbs in it all the time and hangs out. I feel like he misses it!
• He can stand by himself for maybe 2 seconds, but it's improvement! We're hoping he'll start walking sometime in the near future, but he's definitely taking his time on that one.
• He is definitely curious and loves to  go exploring on his own in the house. When you find him doing something he knows he's not supposed to, he kind of freaks out. It's a good freak out, though, where he screams and starts laughing hysterically.
• He has discovered stairs and how much he loves to climb them. You have to watch him very carefully around them.
• He has started to drop the first nap, or really he's dropped it. His schedule is still a little erratic because some mornings he still needs a nap, but then he's up far too long until bedtime. We've had to move his bedtime up about 30 minutes until he can get more used to this one nap thing. I know he's ready to drop a nap, though, because if he takes any type of morning nap, he absolutely will not take an afternoon nap. This happened for about 2.5 weeks before I finally gave up officially on two naps. I think this will take him a while to master, but we'll get there one day!
• He's loving his milk! He gulps that stuff down which is great! At least I haven't had to worry about that :)
• He does eat somewhat better than he did before. He loves veggies with butter, toast with butter, waffles with butter, pasta with butter. Notice a pattern? I went through a whole stick of butter in about a month with this kid.  He also loves these fruit/ veggie pouches that he can suck the contents out. It is super convenient- I love them!
• He drinks about 8 oz of pediasure a day. It's there to make sure he gets enough calories and it has vitamins in it, so that's good!
• He loves to be silly and make people laugh. He's a bit of a ham. Today, he took a gift bag and put it on his head, then started crawling around running into things. He's done this before where he put a blanket over his head.
• He throws things. He throws books, pillows, balls, cars, food, blanekts, horsie, etc. I'm not looking forward to the true 'throwing' stage with this kid.
• We went to the zoo as a family at the end of April. It was kind of a belated birthday outing for Luke. It was a great day, and Trey and I were probably more excited than he was. We found that he enjoyed the reptile house the best; I think because of the lights in the cages while it was dark in the house. But we had a great day, and it was so much fun!

I think that's it, except that I LOVE him!

A Video!

A little peek at the little guy these days...

Reflections Upon a Year

What a year it has been...

I don't think my life has ever changed so suddenly and so drastically in one mere moment. Getting married was a change, but it definitely was not a change like this. I won't lie, it was a GREAT year- full of moments that literally sent chills up my spine and make me cry with joy- but it was also one of the absolute, hands down hardest year I've ever had. I thought my first year of teaching was rough, but the first year of being a parent to my own child beats it hands down.

I wanted to jot down so I could remember why it was so great and why it was so hard. I will honestly say, too, that some little switch happens at a year. You pass that milestone and suddenly everything just feels better. I think there's something about going through all four seasons that suddenly made me whole heartedly accept this new life of mine and know that it's all a phase, just one phase after another. The phases I don't love don't last forever, but sadly, the phases I do love pass even quicker. I really understand that we've just got to keep trucking along, doing the best we can because one day, no matter what, we'll be back to a kidless house phase once again.

Lows

• Being alone. Staying at home with my children is always something I wanted to do, but I don't think you can ever be prepared for what it feels like to sit in a house all day by yourself with a baby, especially a new baby. I'd sit for hours in the nursery nursing a baby, and I only had time to do one small thing inbetween. It's the most lonely feeling in the entire world. I would sit and wish upon wish that I could just go back to work so that I could be out, around people, be my old self again and not have to just sit there alone in my house with no one to talk to. It makes me sad even today to think about it. I actually am so excited to have a newborn again (one day, not anytime soon), but I really will be glad to not be alone with that baby again. I'm glad I'll have Luke around to make sure we are getting out and being among people again. It was hard, so hard.
• Nursing a newborn. I nursed Luke every 1.5 hours. That meant I nursed about 45 minutes, had 45 minutes off, and then right back to it. It forced me to be the one to get up at night every single time. I had to be home all of the time so that he could eat, so it was even hard to get out of the house because I had to be back within 45 min-1 hour. It was just the most time consuming thing I've ever done, and I had to be the one to do it. There was really not much way for Trey to help until we gave him a bottle. As one of my friends once told me, it's worse than labor because it's constant over and over for weeks. But it did get better, and I made it through. And now I'm working on weaning him. I thought I'd be sad, but honestly, I'm totally ready and am excited to move on to what's next.
• Always being at home. It took a long time to get used to staying home even after we were on a better nursing schedule, and I was able to get out more. It was just hard because my life was totally different. I didn't know what direction to go in. I'm extremely extroverted, and I felt totally cut off from the world. I know a lot of people struggle with this. In fact, I went to hear a speaker and she said she was not a good newborn mom because she felt like she was in 'baby jail'. I totally understood that statement. Thankfully, I'm now so used to being at home I enjoy my time there more, and I actually choose just to be home many days. But it helps that we have many outlets to get out, so I feel ok being at home because I've chosen to be there, not because I have no where else to go. I still get frustrated some that we can't just go anywhere when we want to- we still have nap time to deal with, but even that's on the upswing. His naps are very predictable now, and since I'm not nursing during the day, I can leave and let Trey have him for a whole afternoon without worrying about taking the pump, missing a feeding, etc. He's slowly not completely reliant on me! I'm slowly getting myself back which feels good.
• Realizing how very hard being a parent is. This is rough. Everyday there's a new challenge. I have been stretched more this past year than any other. You want to be the best parent you can be, but there's so many things out there that sometimes give you a feeling of how much you're failing at this job. Luke's had trouble gaining weight and every time we have a bad doctor's appointment, I  come away with such a huge feeling of failure. What kind of a parent am I if I can't even get him to weigh enough? It's a horrible feeling. Then, you meet people and hear the great things they do with their kids, and you once again feel like you're not measuring up. Then there's a book by an expert that tells you what you should be doing, and once again you feel like you're failing. I've never felt such high highs or low lows in my entire life. They say love is enough, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like it. I have to remind myself often that I'm his mom for a reason, and I am enough. It's oh so very hard. I often wish for a crystal ball just to know if everything will be all right, but all I really can do is pray that it will be.

 Highs

• Watching him grow and change. I love that I've watched him go from a helpless newborn to an emerging little boy with a somewhat stubborn streak. The coolest thing has been watching his personality emerge. Even though there are some things that he does that I don't understand at all, it's still fun to watch him become the person he is. It's neat, also, to see parts of me or parts of Trey in him and what he got from each of us, and also parts of him from others in the family. I'm so excited to see more and more of him emerge, and I just have so much fun with him now. He's just so interesting, and I love learning more about him.
• Finding out how much love is in my heart. It's true when people say you don't know love until you have a child. It makes you so much more vulnerable to everything. It's as if your heart is worn on the outside of your body. But it's also so overwhelmingly happy at the same time. I feel more content with life because of how much I love him. I know that as long as I have my family, life is so much better. Even on the hard days, it's a good day because Luke and Trey are there. My heart is so much more open, and even though that's hard, it's so, so good.
• Living my dream of being a mom. I've always wanted kids, and I often find myself thinking why am I so fortunate to have all of these good things in my life. It's a little scary because I have everything I've ever wanted. I'm so very thankful for this life, and I find that I'm happier now than ever before despite the hard. I'm getting to do what I've always wanted to do, and I'm so thankful I have such a supportive husband who works so hard to allow me to do this. I love being with Luke, and it's a wonderful life. I realize that I have to thank God every day for these blessings, and I'm so thankful for this time I've been given.
• Deeper relationships. Not only has being a parent really opened my heart, but it's made room for deeper relationships with people that were already important in my life. Trey and I are now parents for a much more important reason, and I think that's made our relationship different but so much better. We're now truly related through this little guy. We're partners in this journey, and he's the best partner I could have ever asked for. While we sometimes stumble through, it just makes my heart sing to know that I have such a wonderful man to share this journey with and who loves Luke as much as I do. He's willing to give so much to me and him, I feel luckier than ever. I don't take any of him for granted because I know that having a good marriage and loving our child together is something to treasure. I'm so lucky to have him, and I couldn't have done any of this without him. He's been my beacon of light through the rough and calm times. My relationship with my mom has always been really good, but now it's so much better and I realize now how I could never have done a lot of this without her. After having a baby, I feel like your mom is the one true person who understands and can help you through it. She's been through it for one, and she's the one who's really taught you how to be a parent indirectly through your life. She's my rock I look to for advice and support, and I couldn't do this without her for sure. I only hope I can achieve even a small amount of the greatness that she is.
• Realizing how very wonderful being a parent is. This has been a wonderful, amazing, life changing journey. Yes, it's really hard, but it's also so wonderful. I'm so proud of my little man. He's truly the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm truly blessed that I was entrusted to be his mom and show him through this world. Yes, he's changed me, but in ways that I needed to be changed, and I'm a better person for it. I love waking up to his smiling face everyday and watching his peaceful face when he's asleep. My heart sings with joy at being able to live my life with him. Being a parent is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's true that the good far outweighs the bad. I love him and everything that comes with him. This life is good :)